


A Mercenary's Lullaby

by stardustkiss



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst and Feels, Awkward Conversations, Awkwardness, Denial of Feelings, Difficult Decisions, Dream Team SMP Spoilers, Emotional Hurt, Emotionally Repressed, Friendship, Frustration, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Insomnia, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, Mercenaries, Nervousness, Nostalgia, Old Friends, Protective Luke | Punz, Regret, Repressed Memories, Sad Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Self-Denial, Swords, Team Dynamics, Team Feels, Unresolved, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Tension, Weapons, yes i added sapnap bc i love him, yes i know the lore was a few minutes worth but i ate that shit up, yes i love punz yes i love sapnap, yes this was all inspired by yesterday's punz lore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:08:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28890384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustkiss/pseuds/stardustkiss
Summary: Punz lost the Blade of Justice to the withers, his loyalty is up for grabs by the highest bidder, an old friend feels like a stranger, and the night gets even lonelier after they talk.
Relationships: Luke | Punz/Sapnap
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	A Mercenary's Lullaby

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i speedran this! because i love punz! and am so excited he got lore :D 
> 
> this contains spoilers for punz's stream from january 19th 2021 :3c he only did rp/lore stuff for a few minutes though! 
> 
> as the tags suggest i literally added sapnap because i love him but yeah. both of them lost their swords in the same fight....couldn't stop thinking of them. 
> 
> sapnap lore ? please ? i beg of you ?

The sword felt foreign in his grasp, the weight was off, the handle unworn and untouched. He didn’t know this weapon, despite the hours he spent making and enchanting it. This blade was in his hands, but it wasn’t his.

Punz shifted the sword from hand to hand, watching the calluses on his hands grip the netherite beneath his skin. This wasn’t any Blade of Justice, this was just a blade. It was his own fault, he hadn’t stopped beating himself up about it.

If he had held it tighter, not lost himself to the adrenaline, kept himself calm. The fight scarred his skin and his mind, he still saw the hounds when he closed his eyes, and the withers gasped when he was left alone in the dark. If only he hadn’t let the Blade of Justice slip from his hands, his mind would be put at ease even a little.

He slid his new sword into the holster at his side, cracking his knuckles as he turned around and made his way down the hallway. The sound of his footsteps echoed throughout the chamber, it was late in the evening, and as far as he knew he was alone. 

Exiting the building, he shut the door behind him with his foot, eyes flickering around to scan his environment. Torches glowed lightly in the darkness, guiding him down the prime path. Punz sighed under his breath, rubbing at the side of his neck to try and ease the strain. 

Another day, another night, gone just like that. He walked down the prime path, lips pursed and hands clenching and unclenching by his sides. The leather of his fingerless gloves scrunched under the pressure, the sound of his footsteps and his netherite armour clinking as he walked were the only sounds around him. 

Punz raised his head to eye up his property, comforted by the sight of the roof of his tower. Home. It was just him, always had been, but he trusted himself, and that’s all he needed. Himself and coin. 

He walked in silence to his tower, opening the door, and stepping inside. Punz stopped himself the moment he walked inside, time slowed down and he narrowed his eyes. Someone had been here, something was off. Something had been changed, touched, and he didn’t know what. 

Punz shut the door behind him, slowly closing it so that the latch clicking could only be heard by him. He pulled his sword from the holster, approaching the ladder and testing his footing, eyes aimed high and staring into the darkness above him. 

He held his breath. No footsteps, no creaks, no heartbeat, no breathing. He was betting he was alone, but he wasn’t willing to take the gamble and be blindsided. Punz adjusted his grip on the sword and made his way up the ladder, hauling his weight up it slowly and silently. 

Punz hefted himself onto the next floor, sword drawn and weight evenly spread on either foot. He looked around the room, focusing on anything out of the ordinary between anything he had placed himself. He was precarious with it, making sure if something was moved, he would know.

He reached behind himself, grabbing a tinder box from on top of the desk and pulling out the flint and steel. Without looking at what he was doing, he lit a torch and the flame lit up the darkness, flooding the room with light. 

Punz spun in a slow circle, the walls were untouched, the furniture hadn’t been moved. His gaze traveled to the centre of the room, a chest sat on the floor, and on top of the chest was parchment. 

He sheathed his sword with a final look over his shoulder, grabbing the parchment in both hands and unfolding it neatly. The scribbly writing was scrawled across the light brown paper, it looked hurried and shaky. 

**_Punz I have been suspicious of you ever since you have sided with me. I hope this payment will keep you on my side and that you’ll have my back. Tommy._ **

With a small tilt of his head and a sharp inhale, Punz read the note back a few times over. Suspicious? Of him? He’d always been loyal to the highest bidder, and everyone knew that. He’d been upfront. Coin gets his loyalty. He folded the letter, and placed it on the desk behind him. 

He’d been paid by Dream time and time again, he had goods, he had coin, that’s as deep as the trench got. He could be bought, no matter how many times he had sided with Dream, he knew he could be bought. But why wasn’t he moving to open the chest? Why was he frozen in place. 

Somewhere along the way Punz wondered if he had lost his edge, gone soft. Started to enjoy the way he always knew he would be beside Dream. It’s not like they didn’t know each other, it’s not like they hadn’t fought alongside one another without coin motivating him. It’s not like he hadn’t seen Dream grow, seen Dream change, seen him become someone he wasn’t familiar with any longer. 

Punz shook his head, a poor attempt at forcing the thoughts to leave his head. They swam inside of his mind, making a home up there and nourishing themselves with doubt and attachment. The chest. The coin. The payment. It had always been about the coin. 

He reached forward for the chest, pushing with both palms and looking at the contents. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Surely nobody could be richer than Dream. Nobody could throw their coin at people like that. His eyes doubled in size at the sight of gems, coins, jewels, piles staring up at him. 

Tommy had given this to him? This didn’t make any sense. Tommy had no riches. He had nothing. Punz recoiled from the chest, shutting it hurriedly and letting his eyebrows furrow in concentration. Tommy couldn’t have given him so much riches, where had he even gotten this? 

Was this stolen coin? Was this coin scavenged up in desperation? Punz moved to open the chest once more, shoving the lid open and looking in disbelief at the contents once more. Tommy was suspicious of him yet wanted him on his side so badly he had managed to collect all of this coin for him. Tommy didn’t even have anything for himself. 

He caught the slightest sight of movement outside of his window and let the chest slam shut. Punz quickly shoved the parchment underneath the false bottom of his desk drawer and made his way down the ladder to the main floor. 

Punz dropped himself down the last few rungs of the ladder, blue eyes shooting towards the door where he saw a shadow pacing back and forth nervously. He touched the chain hanging from his neck, giving him some semblance of comfort. 

Slowly, he approached the front door and pushed it open. Outside he saw a familiar face, except it didn’t look as familiar as he thought he’d look. It was Sapnap, who he’d known a long time, who he’d fought alongside for a long time, yet he felt like he hadn’t seen him in ages, 

“How’d you know I was here?” Sapanap asked lamely, the dark blue in his eyes dulling, he’d seem to lost the sparkle Punz remembered so vividly. Maybe that’s why he didn’t recognize him, this wasn’t the Sapnap he recalled when he thought of him. 

“Saw you from the window.” Punz nodded towards upstairs and Sapnap felt heat rush to his ears, kicking at the ground and shrugging his shoulders to hide his embarrassment. Of course Punz saw him from a mile away. He had enemies. He had a job to do, people try to stop him, people get in the way. It’s how his job worked. 

“Naturally.” Sapnap cleared his throat, bringing his hand up to rub at the scruff on his chin. Punz stared at him in the low torch light, maybe Sapnap looked older, sadder. He leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest. They were just talking to talk, like they used to. 

“Couldn’t find your way home?” Punz murmured under his breath, Sapnap looked like a kicked puppy, hands fiddling with the hilt of his sword by his side. It was meant to lighten the mood a bit, maybe even get a smile out of him, but Sapnap darkened more. 

“You could say that.” Sapnap gave a pained smile, it made Punz tense up against the door before he remembered who he was. Keep it together. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t give away your trust. Don’t act without thinking. “Your sword...you got a new one?” 

Punz uncrossed his arms to peek down at his sword, he’d forgotten Sapnap had been by his side almost every time he had fought with the Blade of Justice. He’d forgotten its lifespan had matched with their partnership almost perfectly. He was surprised Sapnap even realized it was a different blade, he always seemed so deep in his own head, focused on his own strategy. 

“I lost the Blade of Justice to the withers.” Punz dragged his fingers along the chain hanging from his neck, the cold metal soothing some of his nerves. Sapnap perked up at this information, eyes twinkling the way they used to, and he laughed breathlessly. 

“I lost my sword to the withers too.” Sapnap inched forward as he spoke, pushing his hands through his thick black hair and smiling nervously. “I don’t know how it happened either, I think I was so excited...being right in the middle of it all…”

Punz softened, leaning his head against the doorframe and closed his eyes for a second. Was there a time combat excited him? When was the last time he enjoyed himself? When could he look back on a battle and smile fondly? He opened his eyes and looked down at Sapnap, he’d cheered up now, he looked how he did in his memories. 

He’d had fun when he fought alongside Sapnap. Alongside someone who was loyal, passionate, eager to support those he loved. Punz pushed blonde hair away from his face and nodded his head slowly, jaw tightening. 

“It fits you, being in the centre like that.” Punz murmured fondly, pushing himself off of the doorframe and standing up straight. He looked out into the night, stars twinkling in the sky, moon high in depths of the pitchblack sea. For a second he wanted to confide in Sapnap, he wanted to ask if this was the right thing to do, he wanted to allow himself a moment to feel. 

“You mean it?” Sapnap snorted softly, rolling his eyes before he shifted his weight from foot to foot. He’d been keeping to himself recently, appearing when called on, not paid much attention to if nothing was needed from him. Sapnap rubbed at his nose, peeking up at Punz and then biting his tongue. He wanted to say something so badly, but he couldn’t bring himself to cross the line. He knew this was work, nothing more, never had been more than that. 

“Yeah, I mean it kid.” Punz looked over his shoulder into his house and he saw how still and how quiet it was. He guessed he could allow himself a few moments to dawdle, a few more seconds to say something. “Tomorrow…What are you thinking about tomorrow?” He said softly, holding his breath when Sapnap clasped his hands in front of himself and held his own thumb.

His complicated expression returned to his face, he was trying to hide it this time. Punz watched the way Sapnap juggled with what words to say, eyebrows knitted together and lips pulled into a deep frown. He shouldn’t have brought it up, that much was clear. This is why he stuck to the book, to keeping things simple and detached. There was no reason to bring feelings into this. 

“I… want to… be there for Dream,” Sapnap grabbed at his thumb tighter, staring down at the wood underneath his feet and swallowing the lump in his throat. “He’s... I’ve always been there… but it’s not the same? Things are different now, but he’s… we… it’s been us…” He let go of his hands and began to shake the tension out of them. “I’ve gotta sleep on it… but I’m sure I’ll see you there tomorrow? We’ll fight together?” Sapnap nibbled at his bottom lip. 

The last of his hope simmered in his eyes, Punz stared at him, his chest felt tense. Coin. This was all for coin. It didn’t matter what Sapnap asked from him. It didn’t matter what made him feel less guilty. It didn’t matter what Dream asked from him. It didn’t matter. None of this fucking mattered. 

“I’ve gotta sleep on it.” Punz repeated, stepping back into his house, grabbing the door and offering a light nod. “I’ll see you tomorrow, no hard feelings.” He kept his eyes trained on Sapnap, who stepped away from his door and looked both ways. Punz felt the weight in his chest get heavier, he ignored the feeling and closed the door. 

He walked away from the entrance way, making his way back to the ladder and pulling himself up onto the second floor. Once he had steadied himself, he looked out of the window. Sapnap had begun leaving the area, aimlessly walking down the path. He didn’t know where to go. 

He didn’t know where to go and Punz just let him wander. Punz exhaled loudly, the ache in his head began to make itself known and he cursed under his breath. This was his job. It didn’t matter how he felt, of how someone he knew felt. He was just someone he knew. 

Punz sat himself down on top of the chest, it creaked under his weight and he rubbed his hands over his face. It was just a job. It had always been a job. He’d been with Dream for longer, he’d fought alongside Sapnap for longer, Dream gave him coin, Tommy had given him even more coin. 

Dream had asked him to act as a spy, and he had. He’d fought alongside Tommy before, he’d lost his weapon in that fight, he’d fought alongside Sapnap in that same fight, he’d also lost his sword. He’d fought with him. He didn’t know where to go home to. 

Punz shook his head, rubbing at his temples and groaning in frustration. It was just a job. This didn’t fucking matter. The pounding in his head didn’t matter. The pain in his chest didn’t matter. What he felt didn’t matter. He pulled at his hair, gritting his teeth together and staring at the desk in the corner of the room. 

The letter. The sides. The coin. The eyes. 

Punz sat on the chest in complete silence, sitting and staring. Left alone with his thoughts, his guilt, his greed, his regret. This was eating him alive, and he wouldn’t sleep tonight. He could hear the words reading themselves off of the parchment. 

He couldn’t sleep tonight. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!   
> this is incredibly self-indulgent and i know uwu  
> hope you still enjoyed this despite the fact i wrote it completely for myself. 
> 
> also i am so sorry that this is just really sad. upon rereading i realized how sad this is. oh my god. well. 
> 
> lots of love! thank you again!


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